An 'SNL' star digs into his trauma in powerful doc 'Cracked Up'

Darrell Hammond was to the late '90s and '00s what Keenan Thompson is to now: Both are best known for their impressively long tenures on Saturday Night Live (Thompson only recently trumped Hammond as the longest running cast member), rather than breakout, leading roles. Hammond is one of SNL's greatest impressionists of all time, known for his Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Donald Trump, Sean Connery, Dick Cheney...

TL;DR: Hammond can "do" just about anyone. In Cracked Up, a documentary on the SNL star's life and mental health, Hammond reveals the secret to how he keeps his vast array of impressions straight in his head: He organizes the tones, dialects, mannerisms, and cadences of famous voices through a sort of mental color-coding. For example, Hammond imagines Bugs Bunny's voice as "aqua"; Porky the Pig as "yellow." However, throughout all the characters Hammond played on his 14 year run on SNL, he never color-coded an impression "red."

In Cracked Up, Hammond's aversion to utilizing the color red in his comedic pursuits is labeled as a signal of his deeply repressed trauma. Filmmaker Michelle Esrick documents Hammond's journey of coming to terms with the physical abuse he experienced at the hands of his mother, and how the suppression of those violent memories has affected his adult life, via extensive interviews with experts on trauma, Hammond's childhood friend, Hammond's psychologist, and Hammond himself.

Esrick's narrative takes shape as a detailed rewriting of Hammond's life in the public eye that exposes the struggles and pain he faced (and the coping mechanisms he leaned on) whilst playing everyone's favorite SNL characters. With ample commentary from Lorne Michaels and SNL producer Steve Higgins, Cracked Up completely reframes Hammond's shining stardom on the show as a light that contrasted with and shielded from immense darkness underneath.

Hammond is a valiant and admirable subject. His resiliency and perseverance to find happiness after a lifetime of hardship is incredibly affecting to the viewer. Hammond expresses a uniquely human determination to heal, live in the present moment, and improve his relationships with his loved ones. His openness gifts Cracked Up with constant, raw authenticity throughout each of its twists and turns.

Monumentally, Cracked Up illuminates the abuse masquerading as child-rearing experienced by many. By using the particularly cruel and unusual childhood of a household name like Hammond as an example, the film becomes a vital, mainstream representation of a story that's all too familiar for survivors of familial abuse and domestic violence. Thanks to Esrick's skill and Hammond's vulnerability, Cracked Up advocates for survivors by showcasing and humanizing the aftershocks of trauma.

In particular, Cracked Upexplains that abuse doesn't discriminate based on gender, and Hammond acts as a brave and honest role model for other male survivors of trauma. The particulars of Hammond's story are not unique to him alone: He was abused by his mother. She tormented him primarily when he was 4 and 5 years old, and took advantage of his inability to defend himself.

During Cracked Up, the audience meets Hammond as a grown man, now in his early 60s, who has incorporated regular therapy, yoga, restorative breathing, and heart-to-hearts with his loved ones into his daily life. Hammond is shown publicly speaking and crying about his struggles as audiences look on. His conviction to heal and share his story sends the message that survivors should never be blamed, and that one's tears and reactions to their trauma should not be seen as weakness. On the contrary, Hammond shows that strength in the face of immense betrayal is in one's ability to finally and unconditionally feel.

Cracked Up premiered in New York City on September 13 and premieres in LA on September 20. The film will be screened at at various festivals in the U.S. until March 2020.